Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[Vicar in a tutu]

Didrik, Goblin Librarian
Legendary creature - Goblin.
When an opponent shuffles his or her library, that opponent may destroy target creature or artifact.
1/2

Don't climb the bookshelves, Didric.
- Last words of a tolarian apprentice.

Fun general for EDH :)

[Slag]

Didrik, Goblin Librarian
Legendary creature - Goblin.
When an opponent shuffles his or her library, that opponent may destroy target creature or artifact.
1/2

Don't climb the bookshelves, Didric.
- Last words of a tolarian apprentice.

Fun general for EDH :)

I love that card, mainly because it evokes the idea that shuffling one's library is actually knocking over shelves and scattering books everywhere. I think the partner card would have to be

Goblin Library Clerk or
Creature - goblin
If an opponent would shuffle his or her library, instead look at that player's library and put the cards back in any order. Then sacrifice Goblin Library Clerk.

One more time and I quit

0/3

[Darkenslight]

Goblin Library Clerk clearly needs to be a 0/1 for .

Break Face
Sorcery (MR)
Break Face deals damage to target player equal to their life total minus 1.

[Vicar in a tutu]

Glimpse of Phyrexia
Sorcery.
Split Second.
Target player reveals his or hand. You choose an instant or sorcery from it. That player discards that card.

[Blakroc]

Glimpse of Phyrexia
Sorcery.
Split Second.
Target player reveals his or hand. You choose an instant or sorcery from it. That player discards that card.

yep, i like this one

[Slag]

Another blue-hater card:

Unreasonably Fecund Mongoose or
Creature - Mongoose

When ~ comes into play, search your library for another mongoose card and put it into your hand.
When an opponent plays a blue instant spell, you may put ~ from your hand onto the battlefield.

Oddly enough, no one stopped playing blue.
2/2

For added muscle, change all instances of "mongoose" to "Kavu."

[Bed Decks Palyer]

Psionic Bolt ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Instant
Psionic Bolt deals three damage
to target creature or player.
Creature damaged by Psionic Bolt
cannot regenerate until eot.
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯


Diffuse ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Instant
Destroy target artifact
or enchantment.
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯


Jace's Verdict ¯¯¯¯
Instant
Target player sacrifices
a creature.

[kewl Jace's quote here.]
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯


Negative-Face Hekaté ¯¯¯¯
Creature — Bird Dryad Snake Wizard
Hexproof, Unblockable
__________________________ 3/4





AM I DOIN' IT RITE?

[Slag]

AM I DOIN' IT RITE?

Almost, but you made a rookie mistake. All of those cards need alternate casting costs that in no way interfere with your ability to brainstorm.

[TsumiBand]

Psionic Bolt ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Instant
Psionic Bolt deals three damage
to target creature or player.
Creature damaged by Psionic Bolt
cannot regenerate until eot.
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯


Diffuse ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Instant
Destroy target artifact
or enchantment.
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯


Jace's Verdict ¯¯¯¯
Instant
Target player sacrifices
a creature.

[kewl Jace's quote here.]
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯


Negative-Face Hekaté ¯¯¯¯
Creature — Bird Dryad Snake Wizard
Hexproof, Unblockable
__________________________ 3/4





AM I DOIN' IT RITE?

What, no pitch cost? None of these even cantrip. I dunno man, fair cards aren't really Blue's cut of the pie.

sent from phone, don't be a dick

[Slag]

So, looking back at the early days of the thread, there are some shocking correlations to real cards printed much later. This was posted in 2009, about a year before Scars.

Counter Magic
0
Instant

Counter Magic is blue

Counter target spell. You lose 2 life.

Tarmoeater - BG
Creature - Zombie
B: Remove a card from target graveyard, put a +1/+1 counter on tarmoeater
1/1

BG has to be the king of graveyard and not sucky artifacts like Crypt or relic.

Warp reality UUW
Instant
Exile target non-land permanent or spell.

White has oblivion ring, so i dont think this is too strong

And then there are some posts about how a 3/2 flier would never get printed at . Interesting how the game has started to catch up to over-the-top suggestions from a few years ago.

[Barook]

Super StP
Instant
Choose one - Exile target creature. Its controller gains life equal to its power; or exile target planeswalker. Its controller gains life equal to its loyality.

[EpicLevelCommoner]

Got bored at the LGS yesterday and decided to work on a pox card that could possibly replace Hymn to Tourarch or Smallpox.

Grave Spit - (B)
Sorcery
Target player discards a card at random.
Buyback - Discard a card.

[sdematt]

Malevolence - BB(W/G)

Instant

Choose a permanent; that player sacrifices it. Lose 2 life.

-------

Demon of something something... - 1BB

5/5, Trample.

When NPN deals damage to an opponent or a planeswalker they control, discard a card.

At the beginning of your upkeep, lose 2 life.

--------------

Disciple of Mephistopheles - BB

2/1

Flash. When DoM enters the battlefield, lose 2 life.

(Insert Chains of Mephistopheles text here) (I also think this may have been mentioned before)

----------------

Spelljack Mage - RR

1/1. Flash

When Spelljack Mage enters the battlefield, copy target spell you do not control with converted mana cost 3 or less. You choose new targets for that copy.

--------------

I just miss black's "greatness at any cost" colour scheme. Why should blue have the best creatures? Why can't I turn life into resources?

[nedleeds]

Disciple of Mephistopheles - BB

2/1

Flash. When DoM enters the battlefield, lose 2 life.

(Insert Chains of Mephistopheles text here) (I also think this may have been mentioned before)

Straight rip from me. This was my invitational card from a few years ago. Notion Thief came close ... but ... blue.

[sdematt]

Straight rip from me. This was my invitational card from a few years ago. Notion Thief came close ... but ... blue.

Yeah, Greg and I were talking about this last night. I like the idea, I just couldn't remember if he said this was from you or not.

-Matt

[nedleeds]

Yeah, Greg and I were talking about this last night. I like the idea, I just couldn't remember if he said this was from you or not.

-Matt

Do you see Greg who has never not sleeved 4 Brainstorms in his Legacy life possibly wanting this card to see print? He'd be about as excited about the Priest of Mephistopheles as

Minion of the Void - XX
Creature - Golem

~ comes into play with X charge counters on it. (CotV texT)

0/1

and

Triniskelion - 3
Creature - Golem

As long as Triniskelion is untapped, each spell that would cost less than the number of counters on ~ to play costs that amount to play.
Triniskelion enters the battlefield with three +1/+1 counters on it.
Remove a +1/+1 counter from Triniskelion: Triniskelion deals 1 damage to target creature or player.

0/0

[Nonex]

Forgetful Peasant (Uncommon)
Creature - Human
Put a card from your hand on top of your library: Put a memory counter on Forgetful Peasant.
Remove a memory counter from Forgetful Peasant: Draw a card.
1/1

The casual, flavor-loving nerd inside me prefers a single ability with just the first cost and the second effect, but the Johnny inside me would rather cast this one in tournaments.

[Barook]

Forgetful Peasant (Uncommon)
Creature - Human
Put a card from your hand on top of your library: Put a memory counter on Forgetful Peasant.
Remove a memory counter from Forgetful Peasant: Draw a card.
1/1

The casual, flavor-loving nerd inside me prefers a single ability with just the first cost and the second effect, but the Johnny inside me would rather cast this one in tournaments.

Complete discard protection AND being Brainstorm-level of stupid with shuffle effects? For 1 mana?

No, just no.

[sdematt]

Agreed, it's a bit too good against discard, and easily splashable.

My Invitational Card, since I'm a Junky guy, would be:

Junk Master - 1BGW

Protection from Blue, Protection from White

When Junk Master comes into play, Thoughtseize your opponent (lose 2 life and all) and target player exiles a creature. They gain life equal to that creature's power.

3/5

----------------

But realistically, I want to see things not easily splashable by current blue based decks that are viable strategies on their own.

Example:

Eliminate Thought - B

Opponent reveals their hand. Choose a nonland card from that player's hand and they discard that card. Lose 2 life. You gain an emblem that says "During your upkeep, lose 1 life for every Island you control."

Fateseal 1.

-Matt

[Darkenslight]

MY Invitational card would be something like this:

Powerbind Daeva
Creature - Demon
Flying
At the beginning of each other player's end step, you lose life equal to Powerbind Daeva's power.
At the beginning of your end step, gain 2 life.
4/4