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Thread: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

  1. #1141

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Archive Ratcatcher

    Creature - Human
    Whenever you draw a card, put a 0/1 black Rat token into play.
    2/2

    First, they ate the spell books. Then they ate the history tomes. Interestingly enough, they haven't touched the cookbooks.

  2. #1142
    GrimGrin and Glissa are in a boat...

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by cartoonist View Post
    Archive Ratcatcher

    Creature - Human
    Whenever you draw a card, put a 0/1 black Rat token into play.
    2/2

    First, they ate the spell books. Then they ate the history tomes. Interestingly enough, they haven't touched the cookbooks.
    You want people to play brainstorm more? why not make the token 1/1 :)
    I guess you meant "...whenever another player draws a card..."
    2/2 for B is too strong with this ability...

  3. #1143

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Seize the Moment
    Instant
    Cast Seize the Moment only if four or more cards have been drawn by a single player this turn.
    End the Turn.

  4. #1144

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Darkenslight View Post
    Seize the Moment
    Instant
    Cast Seize the Moment only if four or more cards have been drawn by a single player this turn.
    End the Turn.
    I think that has all the same weaknesses as Seedtime with little of the upside. I also don't really understand how it punishes Brainstorm beyond - maybe - attacking fetchlands.

  5. #1145
    itsJulian.com - Legacy Videos
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Ingo View Post
    Choking blast
    Instant
    Counter target blue spell, if you paid .
    Target player can't draw cards this turn, if you paid .
    Draw a card if you control no islands.

    At the very least, it could be played during upkeep to prevent an opponent drawing during drawstep.
    This is not a cantrip. This is one of the most broken card advantage spells someone has ever suggested. For a single green mana you basically get instant speed Divination with an upside of potentially using it to counter something. This would be splashed in literally ever deck that could afford it. Not because of the countering part but because of the +1 card advantage.
    The seven cardinal sins of Legacy:
    1. Discuss the unbanning of Land Tax Earthcraft.
    2. Argue that banning Force of Will would make the format healthier.
    3. Play Brainstorm without Fetchlands.
    4. Stifle Standstill.
    5. Think that Gaea's Blessing will make you Solidarity-proof.
    6. Pass priority after playing Infernal Tutor.
    7. Fail to playtest against Nourishing Lich (coZ iT wIlL gEt U!).

  6. #1146
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Instants and sorceries in general fail the symmetry test unless you want to go for ham-fisted Tom LaPille designs. All they would do is feed Brainstorm decks even more if they were strong enough.

    Leylines in general would make fine sideboard cards, but ask yourself: Would you include it to your MD if it actually existed?

    @Vicar in a tutu: Mindscourge Goblin has some pretty aggressive stats. It's two power and at least one ping per natural draw. That's quite a lot for a mere .

    @Julian23: I agree that the card is totally unbalanced. I wonder if the design could be salvaged:

    Gaea's Interlude:
    Instant:
    Choose one -
    * Players can't draw cards this turn.
    * Draw a card.

    It would probably fit more into white or black with these modes. Again, it would fail the symmetry test, but I wonder how many blue decks would try to run it.

  7. #1147

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Julian23 View Post
    This is not a cantrip. This is one of the most broken card advantage spells someone has ever suggested. For a single green mana you basically get instant speed Divination with an upside of potentially using it to counter something. This would be splashed in literally ever deck that could afford it. Not because of the countering part but because of the +1 card advantage.
    I liked the thought of a brainstorm-hatecard being a cantrip. Perhaps it's too overpowered, and it's better to drop the carddraw? Then again, brainstorm itself is pretty busted too, perhaps a broken card is needed as counterweight against blue shell/brainstorm's dominance.

    Quote Originally Posted by Barook View Post
    @Julian23: I agree that the card is totally unbalanced. I wonder if the design could be salvaged:

    Gaea's Interlude:
    Instant:
    Choose one -
    * Players can't draw cards this turn.
    * Draw a card.
    The choice between the two effects (drawhate and counter) was added because it's manainsufficiency to leave 1 mana open to cast the first, in hopes of responding to brainstorm; By adding a secondary use, the counterpart, leaving a mana open is much more flexible and efficient. So I would prefer on dropping the carddrawpart, instead of the counterpart.

  8. #1148

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Barook View Post
    ...

    Gaea's Interlude:
    Instant:
    Choose one -
    * Players can't draw cards this turn.
    * Draw a card.

    It would probably fit more into white or black with these modes. Again, it would fail the symmetry test, but I wonder how many blue decks would try to run it.
    Even without the cantrip option, you can cast it during the opponent's upkeep. It's a super-counter for brainstorm, an effective counter to treasure cruise and SDT miracle activations, and a reasonable response to ponder, gitaxian probe, elvish visionary, mental note, and thought scour. It's useful against every deck in the DTB and good to decent in other matchups. Combo decks might maindeck it.

  9. #1149

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by rufus View Post
    Even without the cantrip option, you can cast it during the opponent's upkeep. It's a super-counter for brainstorm, an effective counter to treasure cruise and SDT miracle activations, and a reasonable response to ponder, gitaxian probe, elvish visionary, mental note, and thought scour. It's useful against every deck in the DTB and good to decent in other matchups. Combo decks might maindeck it.
    But, requires you to keep a mana open, whereas the rest of the deck isn't built to make use of this (by packing counters for example). I think it's hardly that powerful when it requires you to be one landdrop behind, especially versus tempodecks.

    Also, choosing between "draw a card" and "negate your opponents drawstep" is quite alike in terms of cardadvantage.

    These reasons is why I like a "counterspell-versus-blue better" as the second choice, instead of "draw a card".

  10. #1150

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Ingo View Post
    But, requires you to keep a mana open, whereas the rest of the deck isn't built to make use of this (by packing counters for example). I think it's hardly that powerful when it requires you to be one landdrop behind, especially versus tempo decks.
    I don't understand what you mean. It can be played as a proactive card - leave a green mana open on your turn to respond to any EoT Brainstorms or instant speed cantrips, and, if there aren't any, you cast it on the opponent's upkeep as a virtual cantrip and still lock that player out of using Ponder or Treasure Cruise for the turn.

  11. #1151
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Barook View Post
    @Vicar in a tutu: Mindscourge Goblin has some pretty aggressive stats. It's two power and at least one ping per natural draw. That's quite a lot for a mere
    How about this?

    Goblin Battleshaman
    Creature - Goblin Shaman
    Whenever a player a draws a card, Goblin Battleshaman deals 1 damage to that player.
    Goblin Battleshaman cannot block or attack alone.
    2/1

  12. #1152

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by rufus View Post
    I don't understand what you mean. It can be played as a proactive card - leave a green mana open on your turn to respond to any EoT Brainstorms or instant speed cantrips, and, if there aren't any, you cast it on the opponent's upkeep as a virtual cantrip and still lock that player out of using Ponder or Treasure Cruise for the turn.
    The primary effect is: "Target player can't draw cards this turn, if you paid "
    It's like you say, you should keep your mana open until EOT to catch brainstorm when playing against blue. But if there's no brainstorm following, the upkeep-draw-negation isn't that good (also as you say, just a virtual cantrip). Suppose you'd have a Red Elemental Blast in hand at the same time, you could use your open mana to counter the next blue spell being cast, which is probably a stronger play than the virtual cantrip.

    That's why I suggested the secondary effect: "Counter target blue spell, if you paid "
    If you keep your mana open to catch a brainstorm but it ain't coming, you still have a red-elemental-blast-effect in the same card, for countering the next blue spell that gets cast. Having a draw-denial and a counter in one card makes sense, because they both could use the mana you left open, both in a different scenario.

  13. #1153

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Chaossphere
    Enchantment

    Whenever a player would manipulate his library, he first draws a card, and afterwards randomly discards a card.
    (manipulating your library includes shuffling, looking at cards or putting cards back on top or bottom).

    Sacrifice Chaossphere: Scry 1, then draw a card.


    (EDIT: coming to think of it, this sacrificing part makes it abusable by bluedecksfeaturingcantrip as well. So perhaps this is better:)
    Chaossphere
    Legendary Enchantment
    Whenever a player would manipulate his library, he first draws a card, and afterwards randomly discards a card.
    (manipulating your library includes shuffling, looking at cards or putting cards back on top or bottom).
    Whenever chaossphere goes to the graveyard, draw a card.

  14. #1154
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    I don't really think only trying to attack Brainstorm the card specifically is the way to go. It's too efficient and by the time you get your hate online, it could be irrelevant. There are also real flavor/color pie concerns to take into account. And creating narrow answers doesn't lead to interesting gameplay. Here are some ideas I've had keeping in mind I'm terrible at names:

    Volcanic Servant
    1RR
    Creature - Human Shaman
    2/2
    Intimidate
    When ~ enters the battlefield, destroy target Island.

    Fire Confidant
    1R
    Creature - Human Wizard
    2/1
    At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
    When you play a card exiled with Fire Confidant, Fire Confidant deals damage to you equal to that card's converted mana cost.

    Mirri's Guile Dude
    G
    Enchantment Creature - Nymph or whatever
    0/3
    Reach
    At the beginning of your upkeep, look at the top three cards of your library, then put them back in any order.
    When Mirri's Guile Dude dies, draw a card.

    Tree Canopy
    1G
    Enchantment
    When you control an Island, sacrifice Tree Canopy.
    Reveal the first card you draw each turn. If that card is a creature or land card, draw a card.

    Underworld Dreams Dude
    BB
    Creature - Nightmare
    2/2
    First strike
    Whenever a player draws a card, that player loses 1 life.

  15. #1155
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by maharis View Post
    I don't really think only trying to attack Brainstorm the card specifically is the way to go. It's too efficient and by the time you get your hate online, it could be irrelevant. There are also real flavor/color pie concerns to take into account. And creating narrow answers doesn't lead to interesting gameplay. Here are some ideas I've had keeping in mind I'm terrible at names:

    Volcanic Servant
    1RR
    Creature - Human Shaman
    2/2
    Intimidate
    When ~ enters the battlefield, destroy target Island.

    Fire Confidant
    1R
    Creature - Human Wizard
    2/1
    At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
    When you play a card exiled with Fire Confidant, Fire Confidant deals damage to you equal to that card's converted mana cost.

    Mirri's Guile Dude
    G
    Enchantment Creature - Nymph or whatever
    0/3
    Reach
    At the beginning of your upkeep, look at the top three cards of your library, then put them back in any order.
    When Mirri's Guile Dude dies, draw a card.

    Tree Canopy
    1G
    Enchantment
    When you control an Island, sacrifice Tree Canopy.
    Reveal the first card you draw each turn. If that card is a creature or land card, draw a card.

    Underworld Dreams Dude
    BB
    Creature - Nightmare
    2/2
    First strike
    Whenever a player draws a card, that player loses 1 life.
    Aside from being "cheap" LD and Maro hating that, Volcanic Servant can be run with blue decks. Why not change it to "When ~ enters the battlefield, each player sacrifices an Island."? Same outcome in nonblue decks, but you would screw yourself over in blue decks.

    Fire Confidant is a cool concept, but what exactly prevents you from feeding it with Brainstorm? That's not how you make the format less blue.

    Same for the Guilde dude. While it's nice for GSZ, what prevents UGx decks from running a few GSZ (free extra shuffles - yeah!) alongside it?

    Tree Canopy works, although the "drawback" is a bit ham-fisted.

    Underworld Dreams Dude seems alright. Not great, just kinda alright.

  16. #1156
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    I actually deleted all my explanations so my post wouldn't be a million years long, and you ended up asking a bunch of questions I asked myself.

    1) RR is generally a lot to ask of the URx decks, and I don't think it's much of a better sideboard card than REB. I did consider the "each player sacrifices" wording for that reason, though. It could work but it could also prevent the caster from effectively mana screwing a player. As for whether it could be printed, Peak Eruption is in Theros and this card is pretty much the same sort of effect. It's not like players are using blue mana to remove it in Standard or anywhere, and as a 2/2 it will die to most commonly played standard removal. Further, duals in standard don't tend to have land types, so it won't hit those cards.

    2) Bob himself doesn't make the cut in blue decks anymore, and this card is worse than him in those decks because you could always flip over a counterspell. I don't even know if this card is good but it might be interesting.

    3) I'm not even sure this card is good in Legacy, even in a blue deck. It fixes your draws and dies to a Delver in a pinch, but is easily removed. Again, no reason for a blue deck to play this over Hierarch or DRS given that it will already have a superior suite of hand fixing.

    4) The flavor of this card is supposed to be a jungle that floods at certain times of year. In this case, when you embrace non-green magic (anything but creatures and lands, as Maro has stated often), you get no effect; if you go so far as to bring water magic into its presence, you lose everything. I got the idea when I took my kid to the aquarium and there was an exhibit about such a habitat.

    5) I know. I can't really think of a better black card at the moment that isn't just Necropotence or a color-shifted Sylvan Library or Chains on a stick.

    I also can't think of a white card at all. White can't draw cards, and while it can stop people from doing so, we see from SotL that effect is limited. Need to think harder there. Thalia is as good as it gets at the moment.

    Gold cards, planeswalkers, and artifacts are an interesting space, but harder to conceptualize. Artifacts are also super problematic in blue, especially in Vintage.

  17. #1157
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by maharis View Post
    I also can't think of a white card at all. White can't draw cards, and while it can stop people from doing so, we see from SotL that effect is limited. Need to think harder there. Thalia is as good as it gets at the moment.
    White could have Tithe effects (preferable for basic Plains) or cards similiar to Ranger of Eos which looks for white creatures with low CMC or power (chances are that it would end in an SFM-fetching orgy).

    There were also rebels.

  18. #1158

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by maharis View Post
    ...
    I also can't think of a white card at all. White can't draw cards, and while it can stop people from doing so, we see from SotL that effect is limited. Need to think harder there. Thalia is as good as it gets at the moment.
    ...
    White has balance-type effects:
    Draw a card for each card that target opponent drew this turn unless that player drew a card from a spell or effect you controlled.

    Tax effects:
    Whenever a player would draw a card, that player may pay 1 mana for each card he or she alntoiready drew this turn and then draw a card, or exile that card.

    Lock effects:
    Players can't draw cards. Each player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her hand at the beginning of his or her first main phase.

    Token spitting:
    Whenever a spell or effect makes an opponent draw a card, put 1/1 soldier token into play. Whenever a spell or effect makes you draw a card, each opponent puts a 1/1 solider token into play.

    Reclamation effects:
    Whenever a player looks at a card on top of his or her library, or puts a card on top of his or her library, each of that player's opponents may return a creature card with casting cost 1 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

  19. #1159
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Just a random, new card. Not related to Brainstorm-hate. I've been trying to make red cards thematically related to love.

    Lover's Kiss
    Sorcery
    Exile the top card of your library. Until end of turn, you may play the card exiled this way.
    Rebound.

  20. #1160
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Goblin Kin-Caller
    Creature - Goblin Shaman
    At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library. You may play it this turn if it's a Goblin card.
    2/1
    His call echoes throughout every warren of the Nornglasts.

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