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Thread: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

  1. #1281

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    An alternative to Force of Will could provide non-Blue decks with tools to fight the Combo menace and allow non-Blue decks to form a larger portion of the meta:

    -----------------
    {Phy W}
    Instant

    Your opponents can't cast spells this turn.

    You lose 2 life. If you don't control a Plains, lose 4 life instead.
    -----------------


    If you have the white mana to spend, it is a worse Silence but on the Draw in your opponent's Turn 1 it'll cost you 6 life.

  2. #1282

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Honestly thing anything thats printed to fight Brainstorm has to have a "You can not cast this spell if you control any Islands" as to make sure anything blue doesn't splash it. Imagine Stoneforge Mystic with that clause, the world woudn't be so bad, eh? Yes, it's narrow, and might not be pretty, but I think a couple of cards like this will work. Just a straight up set of CoP:Cantrips.

  3. #1283
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    No need for such a thing. Imagine:

    Tax on Knowledge W
    Enchantment
    If a player would draw a card and it isn't the first card he or she drew this turn, instead he don't unless he pay 1.

    A sphere for cantrips which no blue deck would run.

    Another possibility:

    Pyrite Elemental RR
    Creature - Elemental
    Pyrite Elemental can't be countered
    Blue spells cost 1 more
    3/1


    There are tons of possibilities for good hatecards, WotC is just lazy as shit.

    Another possibility

    Pyropotence RR
    Enchantment
    Whenever a player would draw a card, instead that card is exiled face up. He or she can play that card until the end of turn.
    Discard a card at random: add the first card of your library to your hand.

    etc...

  4. #1284
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Gheizen64 View Post
    No need for such a thing. Imagine:

    Tax on Knowledge W
    Enchantment
    If a player would draw a card and it isn't the first card he or she drew this turn, instead he don't unless he pay 1.

    A sphere for cantrips which no blue deck would run.

    Another possibility:

    Pyropotence RR
    Enchantment
    Whenever a player would draw a card, instead that card is exiled face up. He or she can play that card until the end of turn.
    Discard a card at random: add the first card of your library to your hand.

    etc...
    I like the effect of Tax on Knowledge. But the effect is too weak to justify the card disadvantage it produces. Make it a creature instead (maybe with an extra effect like first strike, or flying, or make it a 2/1 like the new generation of "hate lions") and it should be good enough. Flash would be sexy on it, though.

    The first half of Pyropotence is basically an Uba Mask for half the price.

  5. #1285

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    I like goblins:

    R Goblin innkeeper
    T: Blink a goblin
    1/1

    R Goblin Goblin Welder
    T: weld a goblin
    1/1

    1R Sfgoblin
    Sfm except equipment = goblin
    1/2 (and yes i know matron is a card)

    R B/G
    ETB naturalize or dures(if you pay g or b)
    1/2

    RRR Goblin Supergau
    Tribal - goblin sorcery
    Sacrifice 3 goblin deal 10 dmg to target player

    Goblins should be tier 1 again!
    “Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

  6. #1286

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by HdH_Cthulhu View Post
    ....
    RRR Goblin Supergau
    Tribal - goblin sorcery
    Sacrifice 3 goblin deal 10 dmg to target player

    Goblins should be tier 1 again!
    If I understand that correctly, it should probably be "Super-GAU" and do random horrible things to both players, rather than just the opponent.

  7. #1287

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Gheizen64 View Post
    No need for such a thing. Imagine:

    Tax on Knowledge W
    Enchantment
    If a player would draw a card and it isn't the first card he or she drew this turn, instead he don't unless he pay 1.

    A sphere for cantrips which no blue deck would run.

    Another possibility:

    Pyrite Elemental RR
    Creature - Elemental
    Pyrite Elemental can't be countered
    Blue spells cost 1 more
    3/1


    There are tons of possibilities for good hatecards, WotC is just lazy as shit.

    Another possibility

    Pyropotence RR
    Enchantment
    Whenever a player would draw a card, instead that card is exiled face up. He or she can play that card until the end of turn.
    Discard a card at random: add the first card of your library to your hand.

    etc...
    It's because too many hate cards sucks. There is a reason people hate playing against Shops. t1 Sphere sucks, it's the worst feeling to be sitting across from that. If you are going to print 10 hate cards because Brainstorm is around and just neuter cantrips as a whole, then yes, I'd rather you just ban Brainstorm than straight up murder any deck that wants to play Preordain. Literally the only suggestions I have seen in this thread are "If you're opponent draws an additional card this turn slap him across his long face", with slight variations.

    I honestly would not like to see that, but rather something like I suggested. A Stoneforge that only BGW could play would go a long way of giving people an incentive to not play blue. Then you could say "Okay those fuckers have Ponder, BS, and DTT, but I have Stoneforge, Library, and Xspell". Give other colors even ground to compete with blue decks by powering them up, not by hating blue decks out of the game.

  8. #1288
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    I was talking about hate cards, not consistency non-blue cards. I can do those too:

    NatureStorm G
    Sorcery
    Reveal the top three cards of your library. You may add all lands and creatures revealed this way to your hand, and exile the rest.

    Soldevi digger W
    Creature - Human Advisor
    As this ETB, put the first three cards of your library into your graveyard, then return target permanent with converted mana cost equal to 1 from your graveyard to your hand.
    1/2

    Red has the exile/draw mechanic and the discard/draw so it shouldn't be too hard to design good cards that don't fit into blue (sorcery speed draw isn't as good in tempo, random discard as a cost make it undesiderable by non-redundant/combo decks etc...)

  9. #1289
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Ballard's Amulet
    Legendary Artifact
    Blue noncreature spells cost more to cast. At the beginning of your upkeep, pay or sacrifice Ballard's Amulet.
    "The tolarian professors look so adorable when they're frustrated."
    - Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

  10. #1290

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    That's narrow enough. I love it. Thought I don't want to ever be cast again me in the next few months as I'm on Omnitell and High Tide. That card would be a beating. The upkeep cost makes it safe though, and the fact that it isn't cumulative makes it playable. The flavor is awesome.

  11. #1291
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Gheizen64 View Post
    NatureStorm G
    Sorcery
    Reveal the top three cards of your library. You may add all lands and creatures revealed this way to your hand, and exile the rest.
    That's easy card advantage for 1 mana, and quite often an Ancestral Recall in the right deck. No, just no.

  12. #1292
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Kanti View Post
    That's narrow enough. I love it. Thought I don't want to ever be cast again me in the next few months as I'm on Omnitell and High Tide. That card would be a beating. The upkeep cost makes it safe though, and the fact that it isn't cumulative makes it playable. The flavor is awesome.
    Thanks! Do you think it would be overpowered if it cost instead of ?

  13. #1293
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    YawgNecroWillBargain
    XB
    Sorcery
    Until end of turn, you may play X cards from your graveyard.
    Whenever you play a card from your graveyard this turn, you lose X life.

  14. #1294

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Guardian of Consequences
    Creature - Elemental
    Flash
    Guardian of Consequences can't be countered unless a dash cost was paid to cast it.
    First strike, reach
    Whenever a player puts a card from his or her hand on top of his or her library, Guardian of Consequences deals 4 damage to that player.
    Dash
    2/1
    "Whatever decision you take is final. There is no going back."
    - Autumn Willow
    Last edited by Nonex; 06-05-2015 at 09:09 PM.

  15. #1295
    It's an ugly pile of bones... like me.
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Gheizen64 View Post
    No need for such a thing. Imagine:

    Tax on Knowledge W
    Enchantment
    If a player would draw a card and it isn't the first card he or she drew this turn, instead he don't unless he pay 1.

    A sphere for cantrips which no blue deck would run.

    Another possibility:

    Pyrite Elemental RR
    Creature - Elemental
    Pyrite Elemental can't be countered
    Blue spells cost 1 more
    3/1


    There are tons of possibilities for good hatecards, WotC is just lazy as shit.

    Another possibility

    Pyropotence RR
    Enchantment
    Whenever a player would draw a card, instead that card is exiled face up. He or she can play that card until the end of turn.
    Discard a card at random: add the first card of your library to your hand.

    etc...
    The last thing we need is more stupid hate bears. Also Pyropotence seems uber broken.

  16. #1296
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Not really related, but actually freaking awesome:

    Generating Magic cards using deep, recursive neural networks

  17. #1297

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Because I love Sinkhole:

    Ravage
    RR
    Sorcery

    Destroy target land

    "The only constant is change."

    Forgive the semi-pretentious flavor text, but it was a little weird that they never printed a colorshifted Sinkhole. Well not really for fairly obvious reasons, but maybe in a supplemental product. Also that was the only name I could come up with, I wanted something pithy but Raze and Lay Waste were already taken.
    "We are goblinkind, heirs to the mountain empires of chieftains past. Rest is death to us, and arson is our call to war."

  18. #1298

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Cire View Post
    Not really related, but actually freaking awesome:

    Generating Magic cards using deep, recursive neural networks
    This was fun!
    “Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

  19. #1299

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Don't know where else to rant, but can Wizards bring back Split Second? Counter-Top wouldn’t be so good if there were more cards like Abrupt Decay, Krosan Grip, and Wipe Away.

    Also, that 1G Spider 2/1 w/reach that gets +2+4 when attacking seems legit. Good program, lol.

  20. #1300

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Amon Amarth View Post
    Forgive the semi-pretentious flavor text, but it was a little weird that they never printed a colorshifted Sinkhole. Well not really for fairly obvious reasons, but maybe in a supplemental product.
    What kinda surprised me is that RR -- Destroy target nonbasic land -- never saw print. I understand Wizard's reticence in printing cheap, unconditional LD, but I never really understood why nonbasic destruction was scarcely pushed beyond Molten Rain and Uncontrolled Infestation. It only punishes tourney-tuned manabases full of (competitive) nonbasics while leaving basics untouched.

    It seems like in every format, save Limited, basics take a complete backseat to nonbasics, and more powerful nonbasic hate could really do something to counteract that.

    Of course, Wizards probably wants nonbasics to be better so they can sell packs with cycles of duals.

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