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Thread: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

  1. #1421

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Kithkin Witchcraft
    Enchantment
    Flash
    No more than one land can enter the battlefield under each player's control each turn.
    No more than one creature can enter the battlefield under each player's control each turn.

    Brion, the Unarmed Warrior
    Legendary Creature - Giant Warrior
    All artifacts lose all abilities.
    Artifact creatures have base power and toughness 1/1.
    At the beginning of each player's upkeep, Brion, the Unarmed Warrior deals damage to that player equal to the number of artifacts he or she controls.
    "Rely on your own skills rather than on clunky and disposable trinkets, and no battle will be impossible to win."
    5/5

    Shaking Clash
    Instant
    Cast Shaking Clash only during the declare blockers step.
    Each player sacrifices a nonbasic land for each attacking or blocking creature he or she controls.

    Mana Dissipation
    Instant
    Counter target permanent spell. Its controller may sacrifice an untapped land. If he or she doesn't, you draw a card.

  2. #1422
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    jrsthethird's Avatar
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Scrub's Land
    Land - Plains Swamp
    Scrub's Land comes into play tapped unless you started this game with 20 life.
    Fuck you, EDH!

  3. #1423
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Goblin Revolutionary
    Creature - Goblin Rebel
    Sacrifice a creature: spells cost more to cast until end of turn.
    "Give me your hand and I will give you victory. A foot would work just as well, though."

  4. #1424
    Hamburglar Hlelpler
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Cenn's Cheerleader
    Creature - Kithkin Warrior

    Whenever you cast a spell during combat, Kithkin you control get +1/+0.

    2/3

    White has this goofy habit of giving itself these "only during combat" spells that typically suck. This probably sucks too, but then again I like the idea of the combat phase making your existing spells better as opposed to just making spells that have the "only during combat" or "attacking or blocking creature" text, know what I mean? Like just because there's this "White is good at combat tricks" thing even though they really don't tend to be any better than most other colors with instants :/ but if they actually made it so that there was incentive to casting your usual spells during combat, that seems like a better way to go about it. This isn't the perfect example of that, but w/e
    Quote Originally Posted by Dissection View Post
    Creature type - 'Fuck you mooooooom'
    Quote Originally Posted by Secretly.A.Bee View Post
    EDIT: Tsumi, you are silly.

  5. #1425
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Fiery Soul WR
    Enchantment
    Whenver a instant, sorcery or creature source you control would deal damage, it deal 1 more damage instead.

  6. #1426

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by mgrinshpon View Post
    Goblin Revolutionary
    Creature - Goblin Rebel
    Sacrifice a creature: spells cost more to cast until end of turn.
    "Give me your hand and I will give you victory. A foot would work just as well, though."
    I love this. It might have to be "sacrifice a goblin" though to not be too busted.

    Goblin Patriarch 2RR

    Creature - Goblin Shaman

    Sacrifice two goblins: search your library for a goblin and put it into play. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

    3/3

    "I brought you into this world and I'll take you out. AND I'll make another one that looks just like you."
    Last edited by kirkusjones; 11-19-2015 at 08:16 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by TsumiBand View Post
    It's like arguing your way out of a speeding ticket by saying "it's not like I'm wearing oven mitts, officer."
    Twenty Kavus and a Dream is NOT a Legacy deck.

  7. #1427
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    DarthVicious's Avatar
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Ravage
    RR
    Sorcery
    Destroy target nonbasic land.


    Dark Covenant
    BBB
    Sorcery
    Draw a card and lose 1 life.
    Storm.

  8. #1428

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by DarthVicious View Post
    Dark Covenant
    BBB
    Sorcery
    Draw a card and lose 1 life.
    Storm.

  9. #1429
    GrimGrin and Glissa are in a boat...

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by kirkusjones View Post
    I love this. It might have to be "sacrifice a goblin" though to not be too busted.

    Goblin Patriarch 2RR

    Creature - Goblin Shaman

    Sacrifice two goblins: search your library for a goblin and put it into play. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

    3/3

    "I brought you into this world and I'll take you out. AND I'll make another one that looks just like you."
    busted for goblins?? if you have 2 other goblins in play you can probably play a lot of goblins by fetching mogg war marshall and ambush commander?? (Or any goblin like mout that puts more than 2 goblins in play.

    Quote Originally Posted by DarthVicious View Post
    Ravage
    RR
    Sorcery
    Destroy target nonbasic land.


    Dark Covenant
    BBB
    Sorcery
    Draw a card and lose 1 life.
    Storm.
    I guess Storm would love this card...

  10. #1430

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Tylert View Post
    Oh yeah...busted for goblins?...
    Totally, but please use better examples... Siege-Gang Commander, Krenko, Mob Boss, and Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker / Lightning Crafter/Skirk Prospector combo.

  11. #1431
    Hamburglar Hlelpler
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by rufus View Post
    Actually I think War Marshall is a fine example since it means you can always assemble any 2-goblin combo with Goblin Patriarch and 2 other Goblins. You could just get SGC but you might want his sac ability while MWM is just fodder.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dissection View Post
    Creature type - 'Fuck you mooooooom'
    Quote Originally Posted by Secretly.A.Bee View Post
    EDIT: Tsumi, you are silly.

  12. #1432

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Krenko's Mother-in-Law
    Legendary Creature - Goblin Demon
    Goblin spells you cast cost less to cast.
    Whenever an ability of another Goblin creature you control resolves, put a merit counter on that creature.
    Whenever another Goblin creature you control attacks or blocks, put a merit counter on it.
    At the beginning of you upkeep, destroy each other Goblin creature you control without a merit counter on it, then put a +1/+1 counter on each other Goblin creature you control with a merit counter on it, then remove all merit counters from all permanents you control.
    "You stupid slackers, hanging around all day and being useless. Get the hell out of here and do something productive with your lives!"
    1/3

  13. #1433
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by frafen View Post
    Can we have 8 of these please?

    Cruel Indenture
    BBB
    Sorcery - Portal 4
    You draw a card and you lose one life for each nonland card played this turn, including this one.

  14. #1434
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Dark Covenant
    BBB
    Sorcery
    Draw a card and lose 1 life.
    Storm.
    Storm as a (partial) drawback is an interesting design. Good with Flusterstorm (and Angel's Grace).

    mgrinshpon
    Goblin Revolutionary
    Creature - Goblin Rebel
    Sacrifice a creature: spells cost more to cast until end of turn.
    "Give me your hand and I will give you victory. A foot would work just as well, though."
    A repeatable Sphere effect as an activated ability is pretty cool. Potentially a really strong combo hoser in combination with token-makers like Krenko.

    Krenko's Mother-in-Law
    Legendary Creature - Goblin Demon
    Goblin spells you cast cost less to cast.
    Whenever an ability of another Goblin creature you control resolves, put a merit counter on that creature.
    Whenever another Goblin creature you control attacks or blocks, put a merit counter on it.
    At the beginning of you upkeep, destroy each other Goblin creature you control without a merit counter on it, then put a +1/+1 counter on each other Goblin creature you control with a merit counter on it, then remove all merit counters from all permanents you control.
    "You stupid slackers, hanging around all day and being useless. Get the hell out of here and do something productive with your lives!"
    1/3
    This is a hot mess. Five lines of text, references the rules term "resolve" (only six cards do this outside of reminder text, and one of them is Illusionary Mask---not a good sign!). Flavour is really good but I think this is too complicated to be a real card.
    "I'm willing to imagine a TES where Past in Flames replaces Ill-Gotten Gains entirely, and we just don't play Diminishing Returns." - me, 29/09/2011
    Founding member of Team Scrubbad: Legacy Legends

  15. #1435
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Ancient Cult . . . . . . . .
    Sorcery

    Miracle

    Put nine green creature tokens otb:
    a 5/5 Auroch, a 4/4 Bear with trample,
    a 3/3 Boar with swampwalk, a 3/1 Cat
    with ": regenerate", two 2/2 Wolves
    (one with deathtouch and one with first
    strike), and three 1/1 Birds with flying and
    "when this etb, scry 2".



    The illustration might sport some half-expected dark woodland scenery with the totemic animals of the respective tribes gathering for the gathering, ravens flying above and mesmerizing about future, lots of drama, etc., usual stuff.
    However, I'd love something far less obvious, and I guess that a Terese Nielsen-like art depicting a kantharos with Sun hero riding a swans-drawn barge overlayed on a Sol disk, holding a spear in one hand and framed with meanders, spirals and swastikas might do.

  16. #1436

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    A normal limited game -> Ok this green die is my deathtouch wolf the other has firststrike... this bottlecap is my Auroch... nono this my tapped scry bird, here is the untapped... no. you need red to regenerate your cat not green!

    Also why 3x scry 2?
    “Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

  17. #1437
    GrimGrin and Glissa are in a boat...

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by rufus View Post
    Did i say ambush commander? :) my bad, I really meant SGC.

  18. #1438
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by HdH_Cthulhu View Post
    Also why 3x scry 2?
    Becasue I realized that making them "...and three 1/1 birds with flying, one with 'when this etb, scry1', one with 'when this etb, fateseal 2' and one with 'when this etb, brainstorm'"would be a bit too squanched.
    So I decided that the three ravens will have the same ability. The idea is to represent three ravens that predict the future, and it's kinda crappy to do it with 3x scry1.

    Also, I find it pretty amusing to use this very card to setup the miracle of the next copy of Ancient Cult.

  19. #1439

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Freedom of the Tribe
    Instant
    Gain control of target land creature. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)

    Mirrored Lightning
    Creature - Elemental
    Flash
    You may have Mirrored Lightning enter the battlefield as a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except it gets +3/+0 and it gains haste and trample and "At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this creature."
    0/0

    Myth of the Nobilis
    Enchantment
    Sorcery and enchantment spells you control can't be countered by spells or abilities.
    At the beginning of your upkeep, return target sorcery or enchantment card from your graveyard to your hand.
    : Myth of the Nobilis becomes a 1/1 red and white Soldier enchantment creature until end of turn. It gets +3/+0 until end of turn for each red mana spent to activate this ability and +0/+3 until end of turn for each white mana spent. Activate this ability only once each turn.

    Mogg Witch
    Creature - Goblin Wizard
    When Mogg Witch enters the battlefield, draw a card.
    , T, Tap two untapped Goblin creatures you control, Sacrifice Mogg Witch: Reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a Goblin permanent card. Put that card onto the battlefield and exile all other cards revealed this way.
    1/1

  20. #1440
    Hamburglar Hlelpler
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Nonex View Post
    Freedom of the Tribe
    Instant
    Gain control of target land creature. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)
    I love this
    Quote Originally Posted by Dissection View Post
    Creature type - 'Fuck you mooooooom'
    Quote Originally Posted by Secretly.A.Bee View Post
    EDIT: Tsumi, you are silly.

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